Monday, December 21, 2009

How Blissful the Sound of Two Coinciding Heartbeats....

Talk to me three weeks ago, and you would find me saying that it was very difficult for me to get through a day without thinking about today's upcoming baby appointment. The thought crossed my mind MULTIPLE times a day. My worry: not hearing a fetal heartbeat and having to go through the similar events in July (GOD'S BABY POSTING) .....only this time right at Christmas. Having a secret of sadness from relatives, or else feeling obligated to share my sadness story with everyone at such a joyous time!

Being a Christian, I know we're supposed to trust God in everything: (Philippians 4:6-7) "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." But sometimes I need reminders. Reminders through prayer, from the Bible, from silent reflection, from friends and loved ones. This time I was reminded through a friend, with the words:

"Remember, 'Jesus is your life', and the Holy Spirit has taken up residence IN you! Try imagining your whole life, including that of your unborn, being acknowledged as belonging to God. Live in the knowledge of that humble submission. Our anxieties find no refuge when squeezed out by God's sovereign control." Those were the words God wanted to share with me....and He did, through a friend.

Those words were VERY POWERFUL to me, striking a cord of awakening. Like I said up above, I search multiple resources until I am able to sit comfortably with peace from the Holy Spirit within. Those words calmed me, brought me confidence and gave me trust back in my Savior. Not necessarily trust for the baby to remain healthy and alive, but trust that I would get through whatever darts my enemy may hurl my way.

I was doing so well up until today, then the same thoughts crossed my mind once again.

I prayed as I shoveled the driveway before leaving,

I prayed on the drive there,

I even prayed as I got after my kids to behave in front of others in the waiting room.

But the thoughts came back over and over again: "What if?......"

My only way of coping was to fire back with verses and prayers. I had to rewire my thoughts to positive ones, however impossible it seemed.

My midwife searched around my tummy for the heartbeat.

Multiple spots.....multiple uncomfortable smiles shared......multiple misses.

I had to turn my head to the wall as tears started to roll down my cheeks, "Lord, please....." I began to silently say a prayer of petition and.....

THUMP--THUMP, THUMP--THUMP.....I totally lost it--crying and laughing with amazement. We heard both mine and babies heartbeats together at the same time! The room formerly being filled with uncomfortable silence.....was now blasting with the fetal monitor's echoing rhythms of multiple heartbeats......what a glorious sound and what a blessing for us to share a laugh at the uniqueness of the situation!

The worry melted away.

The moment of trial had passed.

My only physical rememberence left is the pain in my arm from the 6 viles of blood being drawn infront of 3 apalled little girls.

NOW, nothing but a fading memory....

God Bless, Ms. Salubrious


  1. Praise God and thank you so much for sharing. We were actually told I had miscarried Mouse almost 12 years ago and she is 11 now and on her way back from visiting her Great Grandparents. :)

  2. Praise God! I am SO happy to read this. I share the joy with you. What a blissful sound of that little heart beating!! <3

    Tanya (How_About_That)

  3. Oh, praise God! I totally cried reading right along, and I too have had the same fears, but I can't imagine the heaviness of the fear you were feeling in light of your loss. Wow, thank you for sharing, and congrats! Praying that you and baby stay healthy the whole way through!

  4. Thank you ladies for leaving such thoughtful and loving messages for me in my rejoicing. It's always enjoyable to share with others in excitement :) GOD BLESS you as you celebrate the birth of our Savior...